


How to survive in an old horror film: phantom of the opera.

by SkeletonHypetrain



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 12:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18850873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletonHypetrain/pseuds/SkeletonHypetrain
Summary: the third and last installment about surviving a horro film but it goes wrong





	How to survive in an old horror film: phantom of the opera.

We are finally here, the final installment of this survival, since the..incident before the second installment, so let’s go.

Our fellow friend paullie was at the opera house because…  
Paullie:is because im gonna make a stand up comedy.  
OK,so what.  
Paullie: gee, I need to go the bathroom, ok guys I need to go the bathroom, see ya!.

As our friend went to the restrooms, she ends up at the sewers of the theatre.  
Paullie: wait..,this is isn’t the bathroom, i´ll look up to someone who knows where is that.

She´s in the sewers of a theatre, in case of this situation, you should turn back, because some serious shit is about to go down.  
Paullie: oh shit, there´s no one, well, there´s this man playing a song in the organ, may I should ask him.  
Well,our friend just went towards this man,who was wearing masked, then paullie played `just can't get enough´ by dépêche mode, making the masked man turning around towards her.  
Paullie: why are you wearing a mask, this is like living in a Scooby doo episode, I wonder who´s behind that mask.

Well, she just unmasked the man and HOLY BAJUNGLES!, it’s the phantom of the opera!, from that 1925 silent horror film.

Paullie:hello.  
???: boo  
Paullie: hello  
???:…  
Paullie: do you know where´s the bathroom  
???: you are just in the sewers, the bathrooms are at the theatre to the left.  
Paullie then disappears from one minute, and then she returns back.  
Paullie: im back!  
???: its you again.  
Paullie: what are you, are you the fandom that everyone is talking about.  
???: by the way, its phantom.  
Paullie: I know, but what´s your name?  
???: im erik.  
Paullie: my name´s paullie, hey, do you live in this shithole.  
Erik: yes..  
Paullie: that´s great.  
Erik: why you aren’t afraid of me?  
Paullie: ´cause i´ve seen worst things.  
Erik: oh..  
Paullie: you´re a phantom, a ghost.  
Erik: I know but.., I need to be loved.  
Paullie: oh you´re going to be loved.  
???: stop right there.  
A voice just interrupted them, but paullie knew who that voice was.  
Paullie: oh no  
Erik: who´s that?  
Paullie: it’s the phantom of the opera from joel Schumacher´s 2004 film.  
Erick(2004): yes it is I, the only one and the better one ,  
Erik(1925): you are the responsible to destroy my legacy!  
Erik(2004): is because im sexy, I have a huge fanbase about me, im also the star of every fangirl´s wet dream!  
Erik(1925): what´s a wet dream?  
Paullie: i´ll tell you about that later.  
Erik(1925): and you, young man, you just turn my horror legacy into a fanfiction.  
Erik(2004): is because you´re ugly, no one likes to be with you, every fan from my fandom is my Christine.  
Paullie: that thing that you are wearing is not a mask!, it’s a bit, ´tis but a scratch.  
Erik(2004): is because I want to show to everyone how sexy I am.  
Paullie: is he gay?  
Erik(1925): I think he is.  
Erik(2004): NOW FEAST YOUR EYES ON MY AWFULLY SEXYNESS!  
Phantom of the paradise: hey,how about me?  
Erik(2004): shut up, nobody likes your forgotten movie.  
Phantom of the paradise: is not forgotten, it´s underrated.  
Erik(2004): i´ll see you soon at the opera, i´ll make this young lady into my next Christine!.  
Then erik(2004) go away in a cheesy way  
Erik(1925): god I hate this guy.  
Paullie: me too pal.  
Erik(1925): do you sing opera?  
Paullie: no, I only sing heavy metal.  
Erik(1925): what´s that?  
Paullie: well, I screech in a man´s voice and my head rotates in 360 degrees.  
Erik(1925): ok, so, let’s get quickly to the opera, to my boat!.  
Later, Erik(1925) was sailing through the sewers.  
Erik(1925): where the hell is she?  
He saw her upside down on the waters like if she had drowned.  
Erik(1925): hey,are you okay?  
Paullie just thumbs up.  
Erik(1925):ok.  
Then llie went upside up.  
Paullie: hey Erika!, catch me if you can!  
Erik(1915): of course I am!  
So our friend paullie just swim faster, erik(1925) went towards her and catched her.  
Erik(1925): I won!  
Both laughed.  
Paullie: you are weird.  
Erik(1925) blushed  
Erik(1925): maybe we can have a date..  
Paullie: thanks, but im already ta…  
Paullie!  
Paullie: im newly single!  
Erik(1925): yes!, but first we need to get rid off of that phantom and his horrid fan fictions that look like a erotic novel.  
Paullie: what do you mean?, phantoms are unfuckable.  
Erik(1925): you are right!  
Meanwhile, our friend paul is waiting for her.  
Paul: where the hell did she go?  
Paullie: hi paul  
Paul saw her, who was holding hands with erik(1925)  
Paul: what you got there?  
Paullie: its erik, we just met some hours ago.  
Paul: *sigh*, paullie, why you are befriending with something that you see?, anyway, let’s get prepared to your standup comedy.  
Paullie: aww yeah!  
Hours later, the standup comedy started, but I need to tell about how do we have to do in this situation, but those douches spent talking!

Paullie: thank you!,thank you!, I was wondering at the movie shop and guess what I found?. Phantom of the opera directed by joel Schumacher, maybe it was an apologize about what he had done with batman and robin, at least the phantom´s suit didn’t had nipples.  
Everyone laughed.  
Paullie: then I saw-  
Erik(2004):STOP RIGHT THERE.  
Paul: oh no, not the phantom from that joel Schumacher film.  
Erik(2004): your too late, boy, the chandelier will fall amd she will be with me instead of the heinous thing.  
Paullie: you call my erik heinous, ERIK!  
Erik(1925) appeared  
Erik(1925):yes.  
Paullie: let me show you what im goin to do with this ``heinous thing´´.  
Then paullie kissed Erick(1925) in a passionate way.  
Erik(2004) screamed like a girl, paul´s mask fell off, the audience gasped in shockness.  
Also..the narrator of this how to survive in an old horror film was speechless watching that.

Count von count: 1!2!3!4!5! French kisses in a row!, ha-ha-ha!.  
Paullie felt a bit queasy after the kiss.  
Paullie: ohh, that was..argh.  
Erik(1925): that was great, lets do that again!  
Paullie: aw hell no!.  
Erik(2004): enough!.  
Then erik(2004) flew in a cheesy way towards her, but he notice that she had a gun.  
Paullie: eat this daily dose of lead, mothefucker.  
Then paullie shot erik(2004) and he fell down dead.  
Erik(1925): thank you, after all we could have our dat-  
Paullie: LISTEN UP!, me and paul are here because they force us to make those series horror movie survivals, you are character from a horror film, im not newly single, im taken, Erik, I officially sent you to the friendzone.  
Erik(1925) looked sad, then he had a stroke due to the heartbrokening and fell down dead.  
Paullie: oh shit, I killed him.  
Paul: you are the first character to kill two phantoms in a row!  
Paullie: let’s make a pyre to the 1925 one.  
Paul: and the 2004 one?  
Paullie: to the trash.

We are announcing that the narrator of this last installment just left up this narration due to his complaints.  
We are sorry for that, but the mertens are okay.  
Thank you.


End file.
